oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
