he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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