btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
