My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize