I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize