No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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