If that was your dad, he is hot
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
