I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
