who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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