You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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