Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
