you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
