Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
