Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Randomize
