were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
