dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
