thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
