Midget sex pt 2 tonight
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
