I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize