the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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