I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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