Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
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