I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
