It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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