i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
