All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
