I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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