did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Randomize