I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
