no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
do herpes really smell.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize