I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
