Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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