I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
