at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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