i just made my gag reflex go away.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
