He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
