Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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