Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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