I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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