I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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