seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
