wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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