How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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