We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
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