if i can run in heels then i can drive
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Randomize
