The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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