Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
