They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
