I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
