I'm lost and stupid without you.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
