Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
