Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
