smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
third nipple confirmed
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
