are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize