Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
