I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
