He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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