No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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