You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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