I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
