Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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