never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
